Habits – Sinead Huskisson

Belief Building June 2024

In Ireland, June heralds the start of holiday season as schools close and the weather improves (we hope), we think about taking a break from work and catching up on all those things we have been meaning to get to.

If you are hoping to create a reset for yourself this summer, you might take some inspiration from the thoughts and advice below.

Time is precious and we all want to do what’s best for us with whatever minutes we have…

Enjoy!
Sinead

Perhaps June has snuck up on you because you have been busy.

Maybe you have 20+ unread emails everyday or things on a to-do list that get carried over to the next week, every week! It would be a nice feeling to have cleared the decks before you take annual leave.

I liked this advice (which I paraphrase) from Page Grossman.

1. You don’t have to read all the emails you are subscribed to every time you receive them. In fact, Page set up an email filter rule so that the 5 morning news updates she receives every day go into a separate folder. I did this at the start of June. I haven’t read any of those news updates yet, but my inbox looked less demanding every morning. I’ve been fine without that news, although I know where to find it if necessary.

2. Unsubscribe from messages that you only read less than 50% of the time, you don’t need them. Unsubscribe from my email newsletter if you like. I won’t be offended, if the newsletter doesn’t resonate with you anymore, you don’t need it.

3. Drop some items from your to-do list. If they are not urgent and not important, maybe you never need to do them. If you have proactively added items to your list thinking they “should” be done by you but they don’t really motivate you, drop them. Maybe someone else would enjoy them and unless someone comes and specifically asks you to do them, leave them off your list and don’t feel guilty.

I read one more piece of advice today that I liked (it was in an article in the Irish Examiner called “Workplace Wellbeing: Break free from work emails and calls” by Sharon Ní Chonchúir). This is the link.

4. The tip is shared by clinical psychologist Dr. Vincent McDarby. It is also referenced in a 2014 TIME magazine article which advises that the German car manufacturer Daimler have a policy that emails received whilst you are on holiday are automatically deleted. The sender gets a message advising to get in touch again when you are back or contact another staff member, so no unread emails waiting for you when you return. You could implement this yourself by setting an autoreply which advises emails received while you are on leave will be deleted, asking the sender to get in touch again. Then you would need to resist the temptation to check emails while on holiday and be disciplined enough to delete when you return to work. I must admit I haven’t done this myself but it’s an interesting idea in the age of email overload!

In line with the theme of making the most of our time and living our best lives. I liked this analogy from Steven Bartlett’s “The Diary of a CEO: The 33 laws of business and life”.

Steven likens life to a game of roulette where every chip we place represents an hour of our time. Of course, we have a limited number of chips as life is finite. Although, we actually don’t know how many chips we have.

We place a chip on the roulette wheel every hour and we never get that chip back. However, we have control over where we place the chips so we can influence our health, relationships, work etc. by where we place our limited chips.

Steven recommends placing the chips consciously and on things that bring us joy.

“You’ll probably surprise yourself with what you can accomplish- if you are focused one thing. You’ll probably frustrate yourself with what you fail to accomplish-if you’re doing 5 or 7 or 12 things. Nobody performs well if stretched in a half dozen directions.” James Clear

“You don’t have to answer every email…, you don’t have to keep up with group texts,…you don’t have to engage with social media groups that you’re part of, …you don’t have to do Wordle just because you have a streak.” Page Grossman

“Time is both free and priceless. The person you are now is a consequence of how you used your time in the past. The person you’ll become in the future is a consequence of how you use your time in the present. Spend your time wisely, gamble it intrinsically and save it diligently.” Steven Bartlett

Good Enough

For 4 weeks, I have been back on campus delivering lectures and interacting with students in person.

One student I was speaking to told me he had a phobia of maths. It was a major obstacle for him in studying economics. Whilst he enjoyed the theory aspects, he feared he wouldn’t be good enough to pass the course given the maths content.

To his credit, he told me he was seeking extra help and had allocated daily time to focus on the maths elements.

I spoke to another student 3 weeks ago about presenting a project in front of the class. She told me that she hadn’t done any in person presentations in 2 years. She felt very nervous and wondered if she could create a recording instead. She didn’t believe she would be good enough if presenting live.

I spoke to her again this week and she told me that she was trying to practice at home and intended recruiting some friends to be a warm audience whilst she built up her confidence.

It felt rewarding to be encouraging these students and I firmly believe the actions they are taking; being proactive and practicing, will result in improvement for them.

Yesterday, after work, I was talking to my sister and she remarked that I hadn’t posted many blogs lately.

I agreed. I told her I was busy and didn’t have enough time to produce anything that would be good enough to post.

When I heard my own words, I realised I needed to take inspiration from my students.

Taking action and practicing helps us all improve!

Feature Image Credit: Estúdio Bloom via Unsplash.com

Positive Affirmations

Whilst, I believe in using positive affirmations and trying to be optimistic and hopeful, I also know that I don’t always feel 100% positive.

I don’t want to be a fraud reciting a mantra of “I am happy” or “I am confident” when in fact I feel frustrated or annoyed.

Of course, saying “I am frustrated” or “I am annoyed” goes against the wisdom of positive affirmations. So what should I do?

I received a useful piece of advice about this recently and it is simple. Instead of saying “I am annoyed”, I can say “a part of me is annoyed”.

Therefore, I remain honest. I am not denying my feelings but also I am not influencing my whole day with negative emotions.

Time

I like this time of year. I like the changing colours on the trees. I like wearing warm, cosy clothes. And I really like gaining an extra hour when the clocks change!

Almost everyone I know is pressed for time, always rushing and often running late. Getting an extra hour is a gift!

Previously, I have been quite a time obsessed type of person, feeling stressed when I encounter a delay.

Recently, I added a reminder to my phone that pops up twice a day. It says: “I have all the time I need for everything”. It’s an affirmation that is helping me to have perspective about time and deadlines.

In addition, I’m trying out some other strategies to help with having more time.

1. Before I go to bed in the evening, I make decisions for the next day, choices like what clothes I’ll wear. Doing this the night before means I’m quite purposeful as I am looking forward to going to sleep, and I don’t delay. This then leads to a more streamlined morning, as I get straight into my day’s priorities.

2. I have started to reduce the time I spend making minor decisions. For example, when someone mentions a good film or TV show, I put a note in my phone, and follow that recommendation as opposed to losing time weighing up different options. Various studies have shown that people spend an average of 20 minutes or more choosing what to watch on TV.

3. I am trying to set time limits for unimportant tasks like scrolling through social media. An academic I know allows herself 10 minutes of scrolling through Twitter after 50 minutes of concentrated work. In his book, “Atomic Habits”, James Clear shares that he gets his assistant to change his social media passwords on Monday morning so he can’t access his accounts until he gets the new passwords sent to him at the weekend. I haven’t gone quite that far but it’s an idea worth considering.

What would you add to the list?

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High 5

Mel Robbins, now a best selling author, entrepreneur and coach, was once someone who struggled to get out of bed in the morning. She kept pressing snooze on the alarm clock to avoid being confronted by her daily struggles and unhappy life.

One afternoon she was inspired by a TV advertisement, which showed a rocket blasting off after a 5 second countdown.

This motivated her and the next day she replaced pressing snooze on the alarm clock with counting down in her head “5,4,3,2,1, blast-off” and got out of bed. This marked the beginning of a new approach for Mel.

She started using the 5 second rule and turned her life around. When she had a good idea or impulse, rather than talk herself out of it, she undertook an action within 5 seconds.

Although it seems very simplistic, the approach has a scientific basis. The strategy wards off procrastination and diverts our brains away from over-thinking and self doubt, thus leading to action and greater productivity.

I read Mel’s book “The 5 Second Rule” a few years ago and still sometimes use the countdown in my head, especially when I need to do things I don’t feel like doing.

This year, Mel has brought out a new book “The High 5 Habit”. Its premise also seems very simple. Mel encourages us to give ourselves a high 5 in the mirror every morning.

We support ourselves in this action, as opposed to being reliant on external validation. The research says that by taking a moment to reflect on and celebrate being ourselves, we increase motivation and productivity.

I haven’t read the book yet but I am going to add a self high 5 to my day, it’s a simple habit to incorporate especially if it increases motivation and performance and I don’t think Mel would want me to procrastinate!

Feature Image Credit: Bill Jelen via Unsplash

Stirred not Shaken

James Bond prefers his martinis shaken not stirred.

In the context of a drink, shaken ensures it is fully mixed and the result might be frothy from the introduction of air in the shaking process.

Stirring is preferable when the ice shouldn’t get too crushed and the ingredients are mixed more gently.

Some argue that Bond is making a mistake by having his martini shaken not stirred, as the ingredients of a martini would offer a better taste experience if stirred.

Typically, drinks that are shaken have thicker ingredients like syrup or cream. A martini does not usually have those thicker liquids.

Perhaps it fits with Bond’s character that he would choose shaken over stirred. Shaken has connotations of force and fear, which are all part of the job for Bond.

I think I prefer stirred not shaken in most aspects of life.

Stirred is a more gentle and gradual process and also has the meaning of arousing emotion.

If I were studying for an exam, rather than force the information into my brain in a rapid shake up, I would prefer a deliberate processing of significant facts so that I might retain them for longer.

If I were preparing for a sporting event, rather than leaving myself shook after a once-off intense and fierce workout, I would prefer to gradually and slowly train until I was ready for the event.

If I were selling a product or service, rather than leave people shaken by bombarding them with a sales pitch, I would prefer to gradually stir them to win them over or encourage them to action.

What would you choose?

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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

The physical and mental strength displayed at the Olympics reminded me of Stephen Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”.

The habits are broken down into the first 3 which relate to self management and development.

Habits 4 to 6 offer advice on how best to approach our interactions with others.

Habit 7 is “sharpen the saw” which is about self care.

We wouldn’t try to cut down a tree with a blunt, worn out saw and this analogy is used to advise us to be proactive in looking after ourselves. The Olympic athletes are prime examples of this habit.

By investing in sleep, nutrition and activity we can keep ourselves in peak physical condition.

We can take care of our spiritual lives by meditating or spending time in nature.

We choose to maintain mental fitness by being conscious of what we consume in terms of media and reading.

For optimum social interaction, Covey recommends we have authentic, meaningful connections whilst being helpful to others. It was heartening to see the recent support for all athletes, regardless of their level of success.

My copy of the book is quite old but I was pleasantly surprised with how easy to read it is and how relevant it remains in 2021.

If I liked this book, what others should I try?

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