Belief Building November 2024

Usually October is the month I write about time as the clocks change, but last month was dedicated to Autumn cleaning. So November is getting a turn on the time topic.

I attended a course in September where we were asked to choose 3 pictures from an array of pictures.  Almost everyone at my table chose the picture of the clock as it represented constant rushing and racing and not having enough time. 

I also chose the clock but I shared that I am really trying to change my relationship with time (it’s a big challenge!). I try to catch myself when I say I’m busy.  My re-frame is around being grateful for all the time I have and being grateful for all the opportunities I have to use my time in meaningful ways.

I have often mentioned the writer, Oliver Burkeman, in this newsletter. Oliver writes his own newsletter called “The Imperfectionist” and has written a number of books. His areas of interest include our relationship with time and what can be an obsession with productivity.

In his newsletter of 3rd October 2024, Oliver mentions the Unproductivity Challenge, which he describes as learning to stop after we have dedicated a fixed amount of time to something.  He draws upon research into the output of writers who confined themselves to writing for just 3 or 4 hours per day.

Oliver argues that our need to keep going to get something finished can reflect an insecurity in ourselves that we are somehow lacking if we haven’t reached the (unrealistic) pinnacle of having meet all our targets, done everything we said we’d do and marked everything off our to-do lists.

Most of us know reaching this pinnacle is highly unlikely but yet we keep trying; exhausting ourselves in the process.

Oliver suggests we try an alternative approach. We stop at a certain time or after a certain amount of work.

He says we’ll feel uncomfortable about it initially but gradually we’ll feel better and may in fact become more productive as a result of this change.

He poses the “Unproductivity Challenge” as follows: “find an hour or two next week when you expect to have time to yourself. Mark it in your calendar. When that moment comes, the rule is simple: you can’t do anything productive.”

It’s not just time off from work, it also means no household chores, doing grocery shopping etc. Oliver says he indulges his hobbies of reading for pleasure, hiking or playing the piano.  Oliver recommends this as a way to leave behind the insecure feelings that accompany not getting everything done and instead embrace this right to enjoy your existence, whatever your productivity levels.


Page Grossman, who I also like to quote from wrote about the same topic in her September newsletter.

Many of us tend to have a start time for our work but not a finish time as our finish time often relates to how much we think we need to get completed and we keep going trying to squeeze in one more task.

Page recommends setting a time to stop work.

That time shouldn’t be when she has finished something or when she has to stop because she’s rushing out to complete another obligation. It should be the time that she set in the morning that she is allowing herself to stop at because she has done enough work for that day. (Page is self employed so has more flexibility than some of us, however, I think the point is still relevant – we can all be guilty of just doing one more thing before logging off in the evenings.)

I’m going to add some wisdom from Padraig O Morain here because I think if we want to follow the approach set out by Oliver and Page then we should try to stay focused on work when we are working and not get too easily distracted.

Padraig shares this analogy “You are waiting for a train to a certain place. Trains from and to all destinations come and go. Would it make sense to get onto the first random train that comes along? Of course not. Following every mental distraction is like getting onto these random trains. It’s worth practising staying on the platform by giving attention to the present moment, even if it isn’t exciting.”


The fulllness of being alive isn’t something that’s coming later,once all the things are done. It’s something you can experience right here while you’re doing them.” Oliver Burkeman

I’d like to set a time boundary…And, instead of rushing through one more task, I want to pause and reflect on what I accomplished during the day.” Page Grossman

“When tempted to follow distractions (‘I’ll just check Instagram, no I’ll check the news, no I’ll check my email’) tell yourself, at least sometimes, to stay put.“ Padraig O’Morain

Belief Building October 2024

I know it’s Autumn, but I want to mention Spring cleaning.

I have been reading Marie Kondo’s book “Spark Joy” and even if I didn’t take any action, I think I would be enjoying the book as it appeals to my inner organiser. But the added bonus is that it has prompted me to clear out old clothes and books. I’ve even delved into organising paperwork and admin!

Maybe this newsletter will spark some enthusiasm for Autumn cleaning!
Enjoy😊 
Sinead

Marie Kondo is best known as a Japanese tidying expert. She has trademarked her unique approach to decluttering, calling it the KonMari Method. Marie was influenced by her grandmother’s careful attention to her home and belongings as a child and always had a love of being organised and tidy. As a 19 year old University student in Tokyo, Marie started her tidying consultancy business.

Essentially Marie’s method focuses on keeping what you love, “sparks joy”, in Marie’s words. Marie has written numerous books, appeared in a Netflix documentary, been featured in many magazines and TV shows. She comes across as polite, modest and helpful.  Her “tidying-up” movement has millions of followers worldwide.

I have just read her book, “Spark Joy” and I felt joy just reading the book. It’s easy to read and Marie’s gentle encouragement did help me declutter clothes and books. Also, her words instill a sense of respect for our possessions, even things we don’t normally give much attention to, like socks!

“Your feet bear your weight and help you live your life, and it is your socks that cradle those feet.  The socks you wear at home are particularly important because thy are the contact point between you and your house, so choose ones that will make the time you spend there even more enjoyable.”

Marie offers caring advice on the best way to fold and store socks, proclaiming that “Balling your socks and stockings, or tying them into knots is cruel. Please put an end to this practice today.”


I loved Marie’s message about books.

“The energy of book titles and the words inside them are very powerful. In Japan, we say that ‘words make our reality’.  The words we see and with which we come into contact tend to bring about events of the same nature. In that sense you will become the person who matches the books you have kept. What kind of books would you want in your bookcase to reflect the kind of person you aspire to be?”

Marie advises looking along the spines of the books in your shelves to see what words jump out at you. She goes so far as to suggest that someone who is looking for a partner may be unconsciously thwarting themselves if many of the words staring out of them include “single” or have messages like “cooking for one”.

This overlaps with areas of positive psychology and thoughts related to the Law of Attraction and other ideas as proposed by books such as “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne and “Manifest” by Roxie Nafousi. Given the recent popularity of concepts about the power of our thinking, I think Marie’s book advice is worth noting.


“The best way to find out what we really need, is to get rid of what we don’t.” Marie Kondo

Clutter obscures what’s most important. Discarding that which doesn’t support your ideal lifestyle creates space for treasured possessions to truly shine — and leaves room for future joy-sparking additions.” Marie Kondo

“If you’re not using the stuff in your home, get rid of it. You’re not going to start using it more by shoving it in a closet somewhere.” Joshua Becker

Belief Building July 2024

Whilst the Irish summer has not brought the weather we have been hoping for just yet, we have been spoilt with high profile sporting events.

Wimbledon’s tennis, the Euro’s soccer, Tour de France cycle race, and the Open golf tournament in Scotland have just recently come to a close.  

In Cork, the county is wearing red and white proudly and although our hurlers didn’t get to bring the Liam McCarthy cup home, the Cork camogie team continue to carry our hopes.

There is lots more sport in store as the Olympics has just begun in Paris.

Sport brings tremendous enjoyment and passion but what all these athletes have in common is belief.

As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” 

A sport I didn’t mention yet is table tennis, read on for its relevance…

Zhiying Zeng played table tennis at an elite level in China throughout her teenage years. A change in rules introducing a bi-coloured table tennis bat, caused her to quit when she was 20 in 1986, as the new requirement didn’t suit her style of play. 

She thought her dream of competing in the Olympics was over.

She moved to Chile to work as a coach in 1989; set up a furniture business, married, had a family and made Chile her new home.

During the Covid19 lockdown, Zhiying, (or Tania as she is known in Chile), found her way back to table tennis.  With restrictions lifted, she started competing again and more significantly winning almost all the tournaments she entered.

Within a short time, she had gained a place on Chile’s national team.  Zhiying turned 58 this month and will be one of the oldest competitors at the Paris Olympics where she will represent Chile playing table tennis!


Remaining with the topic of table tennis, I want to mention the book “You Are Awesome” by Matthew Syed.  The book is aimed at children but in my opinion, everyone would benefit from reading it.

Matthew Syed, an accomplished author, represented Great Britain at the Olympics playing table tennis in 1992 and 2000.

His book, whilst based on how he became good at table tennis, is about mindset and belief.

He gives an easy to understand explanation of the concept of fixed versus growth mindset as expounded by Carol Dweck. 

A self described non-sporty person, Matthew adopted a growth mindset by believing he could improve his table tennis.

“A growth mindset is the belief that your ability is not fixed. You are not handed out a fixed pot of brilliance at birth. Instead you can grow and change your ability with practice, determination and effort.”

Matthew, now primarily an author rather than a table tennis player, goes on to explain how he breaks down his goals into separate elements and examines how he can make marginal gains in each area.  

It’s a useful book for anyone looking to inspire a friend or family member or offer self-encouragement, if in pursuit of a challenging goal.


“Some people say I have attitude – maybe I do… but I think you have to. You have to believe in yourself when no one else does – that makes you a winner right there.” Venus Williams

If we drop out when we hit problems, progress is scuppered, no matter how talented we are. If we interpret difficulties as indictments of who we are, rather than as pathways to progress, we will run a mile from failure. Grit, then, is strongly related to the Growth Mindset; it is about the way we conceptualise success and failure.” Matthew Syed

“I am the greatest. I said that before I even knew I was.” Muhammad Ali

Belief Building June 2024

In Ireland, June heralds the start of holiday season as schools close and the weather improves (we hope), we think about taking a break from work and catching up on all those things we have been meaning to get to.

If you are hoping to create a reset for yourself this summer, you might take some inspiration from the thoughts and advice below.

Time is precious and we all want to do what’s best for us with whatever minutes we have…

Enjoy!
Sinead

Perhaps June has snuck up on you because you have been busy.

Maybe you have 20+ unread emails everyday or things on a to-do list that get carried over to the next week, every week!  It would be a nice feeling to have cleared the decks before you take annual leave.

I liked this advice (which I paraphrase) from Page Grossman. 

1. You don’t have to read all the emails you are subscribed to every time you receive them.  In fact, Page set up an email filter rule so that the 5 morning news updates she receives every day go into a separate folder.  I did this at the start of June.  I haven’t read any of those news updates yet, but my inbox looked less demanding every morning.  I’ve been fine without that news, although I know where to find it if necessary.

2. Unsubscribe from messages that you only read less than 50% of the time, you don’t need them. Unsubscribe from my email newsletter if you like. I won’t be offended, if the newsletter doesn’t resonate with you anymore, you don’t need it.

3. Drop some items from your to-do list. If they are not urgent and not important, maybe you never need to do them.  If you have proactively added items to your list thinking they “should” be done by you but they don’t really motivate you, drop them. Maybe someone else would enjoy them and unless someone comes and specifically asks you to do them, leave them off your list and don’t feel guilty.

I read one more piece of advice today that I liked (it was in an article in the Irish Examiner called “Workplace Wellbeing: Break free from work emails and calls” by Sharon Ní Chonchúir). This is the link.

4. The tip is shared by clinical psychologist Dr. Vincent McDarby. It is also referenced in a 2014 TIME magazine article which advises that the German car manufacturer Daimler have a policy that emails received whilst you are on holiday are automatically deleted.  The sender gets a message advising to get in touch again when you are back or contact another staff member, so no unread emails waiting for you when you return.  You could implement this yourself by setting an autoreply which advises emails received while you are on leave will be deleted, asking the sender to get in touch again.  Then you would need to resist the temptation to check emails while on holiday and be disciplined enough to delete when you return to work.  I must admit I haven’t done this myself but it’s an interesting idea in the age of email overload!


In line with the theme of making the most of our time and living our best lives.  I liked this analogy from Steven Bartlett’s “The Diary of a CEO: The 33 laws of business and life”.

Steven likens life to a game of roulette where every chip we place represents an hour of our time.  Of course, we have a limited number of chips as life is finite.  Although, we actually don’t know how many chips we have.

We place a chip on the roulette wheel every hour and we never get that chip back.  However, we have control over where we place the chips so we can influence our health, relationships, work etc. by where we place our limited chips. 

Steven recommends placing the chips consciously and on things that bring us joy.


You’ll probably surprise yourself with what you can accomplish- if you are focused one thing.  You’ll probably frustrate yourself with what you fail to accomplish-if you’re doing 5 or 7 or 12 things.  Nobody performs well if stretched in a half dozen directions.” James Clear

You don’t have to answer every email…, you don’t have to keep up with group texts,…you don’t have to engage with social media groups that you’re part of, …you don’t have to do Wordle just because you have a streak.” Page Grossman

Time is both free and priceless. The person you are now is a consequence of how you used your time in the past. The person you’ll become in the future is a consequence of how you use your time in the present. Spend your time wisely, gamble it intrinsically and save it diligently.” Steven Bartlett

Good Enough

For 4 weeks, I have been back on campus delivering lectures and interacting with students in person.

One student I was speaking to told me he had a phobia of maths. It was a major obstacle for him in studying economics.  Whilst he enjoyed the theory aspects, he feared he wouldn’t be good enough to pass the course given the maths content.

To his credit, he told me he was seeking extra help and had allocated daily time to focus on the maths elements.

I spoke to another student 3 weeks ago about presenting a project in front of the class. She told me that she hadn’t done any in person presentations in 2 years.  She felt very nervous and wondered if she could create a recording instead. She didn’t believe she would be good enough if presenting live. 

I spoke to her again this week and she told me that she was trying to practice at home and intended recruiting some friends to be a warm audience whilst she built up her confidence.

It felt rewarding to be encouraging these students and I firmly believe the actions they are taking; being proactive and practicing, will result in improvement for them.

Yesterday, after work, I was talking to my sister and she remarked that I hadn’t posted many blogs lately.

I agreed. I told her I was busy and didn’t have enough time to produce anything that would be good enough to post.

When I heard my own words, I realised I needed to take inspiration from my students.

Taking action and practicing helps us all improve!

Feature Image Credit: Estúdio Bloom via Unsplash.com

Positive Affirmations

Whilst, I believe in using positive affirmations and trying to be optimistic and hopeful, I also know that I don’t always feel 100% positive.

I don’t want to be a fraud reciting a mantra of “I am happy” or “I am confident” when in fact I feel frustrated or annoyed.

Of course, saying “I am frustrated” or “I am annoyed” goes against the wisdom of positive affirmations.  So what should I do?

I received a useful piece of advice about this recently and it is simple.  Instead of saying “I am annoyed”, I can say “a part of me is annoyed”.

Therefore, I remain honest.  I am not denying my feelings but also I am not influencing my whole day with negative emotions.

Time

I like this time of year. I like the changing colours on the trees. I like wearing warm, cosy clothes. And I really like gaining an extra hour when the clocks change!

Almost everyone I know is pressed for time, always rushing and often running late. Getting an extra hour is a gift!

Previously, I have been quite a time obsessed type of person, feeling stressed when I encounter a delay. 

Recently, I added a reminder to my phone that pops up twice a day.  It says: “I have all the time I need for everything”. It’s an affirmation that is helping me to have perspective about time and deadlines.

In addition, I’m trying out some other strategies to help with having more time.

1.      Before I go to bed in the evening, I make decisions for the next day, choices like what clothes I’ll wear.  Doing this the night before means I’m quite purposeful as I am looking forward to going to sleep, and I don’t delay. This then leads to a more streamlined morning, as I get straight into my day’s priorities.

2.      I have started to reduce the time I spend making minor decisions. For example, when someone mentions a good film or TV show, I put a note in my phone, and follow that recommendation as opposed to losing time weighing up different options.  Various studies have shown that people spend an average of 20 minutes or more choosing what to watch on TV.

3.      I am trying to set time limits for unimportant tasks like scrolling through social media. An academic I know allows herself 10 minutes of scrolling through Twitter after 50 minutes of concentrated work. In his book, “Atomic Habits”, James Clear shares that he gets his assistant to change his social media passwords on Monday morning so he can’t access his accounts until he gets the new passwords sent to him at the weekend. I haven’t gone quite that far but it’s an idea worth considering.

What would you add to the list?

Feature Image credit: Malvestida Magazine via Unsplash

High 5

Mel Robbins, now a best selling author, entrepreneur and coach, was once someone who struggled to get out of bed in the morning. She kept pressing snooze on the alarm clock to avoid being confronted by her daily struggles and unhappy life.

One afternoon she was inspired by a TV advertisement, which showed a rocket blasting off after a 5 second countdown.

This motivated her and the next day she replaced pressing snooze on the alarm clock with counting down in her head “5,4,3,2,1, blast-off” and got out of bed. This marked the beginning of a new approach for Mel.

She started using the 5 second rule and turned her life around. When she had a good idea or impulse, rather than talk herself out of it, she undertook an action within 5 seconds.

Although it seems very simplistic, the approach has a scientific basis. The strategy wards off procrastination and diverts our brains away from over-thinking and self doubt, thus leading to action and greater productivity. 

I read Mel’s book “The 5 Second Rule” a few years ago and still sometimes use the countdown in my head, especially when I need to do things I don’t feel like doing.

This year, Mel has brought out a new book “The High 5 Habit”. Its premise also seems very simple. Mel encourages us to give ourselves a high 5 in the mirror every morning. 

We support ourselves in this action, as opposed to being reliant on external validation. The research says that by taking a moment to reflect on and celebrate being ourselves, we increase motivation and productivity.

I haven’t read the book yet but I am going to add a self high 5 to my day, it’s a simple habit to incorporate especially if it increases motivation and performance and I don’t think Mel would want me to procrastinate!

Feature Image Credit: Bill Jelen via Unsplash

Stirred not Shaken

James Bond prefers his martinis shaken not stirred. 

In the context of a drink, shaken ensures it is fully mixed and the result might be frothy from the introduction of air in the shaking process. 

Stirring is preferable when the ice shouldn’t get too crushed and the ingredients are mixed more gently.

Some argue that Bond is making a mistake by having his martini shaken not stirred, as the ingredients of a martini would offer a better taste experience if stirred. 

Typically, drinks that are shaken have thicker ingredients like syrup or cream. A martini does not usually have those thicker liquids.

Perhaps it fits with Bond’s character that he would choose shaken over stirred. Shaken has connotations of force and fear, which are all part of the job for Bond.

I think I prefer stirred not shaken in most aspects of life.

Stirred is a more gentle and gradual process and also has the meaning of arousing emotion. 

If I were studying for an exam, rather than force the information into my brain in a rapid shake up, I would prefer a deliberate processing of significant facts so that I might retain them for longer.

If I were preparing for a sporting event, rather than leaving myself shook after a once-off intense and fierce workout, I would prefer to gradually and slowly train until I was ready for the event.

If I were selling a product or service, rather than leave people shaken by bombarding them with a sales pitch, I would prefer to gradually stir them to win them over or encourage them to action. 

What would you choose? 

Feature image credit: Ambitious Creative Co. Rick Barrett via Unsplash

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

The physical and mental strength displayed at the Olympics reminded me of Stephen Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”.

The habits are broken down into the first 3 which relate to self management and development.

Habits 4 to 6 offer advice on how best to approach our interactions with others.

Habit 7 is “sharpen the saw” which is about self care.

We wouldn’t try to cut down a tree with a blunt, worn out saw and this analogy is used to advise us to be proactive in looking after ourselves. The Olympic athletes are prime examples of this habit.

By investing in sleep, nutrition and activity we can keep ourselves in peak physical condition.

We can take care of our spiritual lives by meditating or spending time in nature.

We choose to maintain mental fitness by being conscious of what we consume in terms of media and reading.

For optimum social interaction, Covey recommends we have authentic, meaningful connections whilst being helpful to others. It was heartening to see the recent support for all athletes, regardless of their level of success.

My copy of the book is quite old but I was pleasantly surprised with how easy to read it is and how relevant it remains in 2021.

If I liked this book, what others should I try?

Feature Image via Canva