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As we celebrate St Patrick’s Day in Ireland, it can be a time to reflect upon our identity and where we are from. This month’s newsletter is about our values and being authentic.

Who we are is a reflection of how we’ve been brought up and where we call home.  There is a poignancy in this right now, as we see and hear of those who are fleeing their homes and experiencing danger.   

To paraphrase Steve Jobs, I hope that the voices which value peace and unity can rise above the noise of disharmony and hate.

We hope for a world where people with different identities are not divided but able to live in peace.

Last week marked International Women’s Day with a theme of Break the Bias.  In March we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day and Irish heritage, so this month I have chosen to profile an Irish woman who is an advocate for inclusiveness and breaking down barriers.

Sinead Burke is from Dublin and in her early 30s.  She is a writer, primary school teacher and PhD candidate.  Sinead has achondroplasia, a bone growth disorder which means she is shorter than average height at 3ft 5 inches.  As a little person, she has encountered bullies and bias throughout her life, however she has used her experiences to advocate for inclusivity. 

In March 2017, Sinead delivered her TED talk “Why design should include everyone”.  This has been viewed over 1 million times. 

Sinead’s book, “Break the Mould” was published in 2020.  This is aimed at children but has a message of inspiration for everyone.

In the book, Sinead explains that her TED talk experience was transformational in her life.  She overcame her nerves and found her authentic voice.  She delivered a message that resonated with her own experience and she chose self-belief over self-doubt.

Sinead’s passion is fashion and she started a blog when she was in her teens to record her views and experiences.  Her opinions have challenged the status quo and led to changes in the fashion industry and elsewhere. 

She has gone on to achieve many of her dreams including appearing on the cover of Vogue and attending the Met Gala, which is a major event in the fashion industry’s calendar.

Sinead is optimistic and inspiring and her advocacy work is making positive changes in the world.  She also has a great name 😊.

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To Do or Not To Do – Is that the question?

Brené Brown is an American author and researcher who has written many books on topics such as vulnerability, courage and authenticity.

In a 2014 article in O, The Oprah Magazine, Brené shared some thoughts and advice on being authentic.

She identifies the challenge for us of knowing and being our true selves versus being and behaving in the way others expect. 

She offers examples such as agreeing with our boss because we think we should or wearing uncomfortable clothes or shoes to fit in with our peer groups.

Brené highlights how easy it is to be swayed to become, or act, or look like someone else.  However, when we act out of sync with our own values, we feel uncomfortable.  We do it because we think our authentic selves aren’t good enough but we don’t feel better by trying to be someone else.

Brené offers 3 tips to help us remain true to our authentic selves.

1. Music – have a few songs that you play to remind you of yourself and what’s important to you before you go to an event where you might find yourself sliding into a persona that’s a “fitter-in” rather than your true self.
2. Partner-up – have a friend that helps you “keep it real”.  Get this person to remind you of your priorities and values before you have important meetings with work colleagues or friends.  You don’t want to end up like a contact of mine who went to a meeting with her boss to ask for time-off and came out having agreed to lead a team to research a new product.
3. Say no – we all love to win praise and please others but at what cost? Say yes to things that fit with the direction in which you wish to take your life but be prepared to say no when you need to.

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“Being ‘yourself’ in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is an accomplishment.” – Jim Kerr
 
“A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.” – Coco Chanel
 
“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.” – Steve Jobs
 
“There’s power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice. And there’s grace in being willing to know and hear others,” – Michelle Obama

As tomorrow is Valentines Day, this newsletter has a theme of love and partnership.

I hope you enjoy it.

Marie Skłodowska and Pierre Curie shared a passion for science and each other.

Their love and partnership developed in the romantic city of Paris as they worked together, before they married in 1895.

Marie was the first woman to receive a Nobel Prize in 1903. She was initially excluded from the nomination but her husband, Pierre, who in common with Marie was prepared to challenge convention, advocated for her to be included given the immensity of her contribution.

She was the first woman in France to be awarded a PhD in 1903.

Tragically, Pierre died in 1906 and although heartbroken, Marie was appointed to Pierre’s Professorship at the Sorbonne, becoming France’s first female professor.

Marie continued her research and won the 1911 Nobel Prize for Chemistry for her advances in the study of radiation.

Controversially, she had an affair with a married man around this time and the media did not report on her kindly.

She regained some favour during World War 1 as she worked with her daughter on the use of X-ray which saved many lives during the war.

Marie died at age 66 in July 1934 primarily from illness brought on by the degree of exposure to radiation that she had endured as part of her research and work.

She is remembered for her contributions to science and has received many accolades for same.

However, her story is also one of partnership and passion.

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In keeping with the theme of partnership, Napoleon Hill proposed a collaborative approach to building success.

In the 1920s, Napoleon Hill researched the secrets of hundreds of wealthy people and the book, “Think and Grow Rich”, is the output of his interviews and research.

In the book, he describes one of the strategies; a master mind group
as a team oftwo or more people working in harmony with each other to help all members ofthe group to succeed.

Perhaps this is something we can consider in our own lives, by creating a study group or having an accountability partner for exercising or a WhatsApp group for reporting progress with home renovations, or whatever our individual goals are?

Whether we have a mastermind group or we are pursuing our goals alone, the work of Louise Hay and Mel Robbins is of interest.

Louise’s work has been in publication since the 1980s. She believed self-love was an essential first step for everyone on the road to success.  

Mel Robbins in her recent book the “The High 5 Habit” offers advice that follows Louise’s message.

Both recommend looking in the mirror to begin a positive relationship with ourselves.

Mel recommends giving ourselves a High-5, whilst Louise recommends using encouraging and accepting affirmations.

Both authors suggest that ‘mirror-work’, would help us improve our inner dialogue.

Feeling better about ourselves is also likely to draw more possible partners to us, whether they are business partners, romantic partners or master-mind group partners.

Maybe Valentine’s Day is a good time to give ourselves the gift of self love and approval

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“Two heads are better than one, not because either is infallible, but because they are unlikely to go wrong in the same direction.” C.S. Lewis

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to loveyourself to get anything done in this world.” Lucille Ball

“I don’t like myself, I’m crazy about myself.” May West

New Year, New You ! … or so TV programmes, newspapers etc. would have us believe every January.

I am going to believe that’s true.

I don’t want to live this year as a repeat of last year. I’m going to believe in possibilities and adventure, and I am going to be optimistic and courageous.
What’s on your “to be” list in 2022?

Elizabeth Jane Cochran was born on 5th May 1864 in Pennsylvania, USA. She became known by her pen name Nellie Bly, after she started writing for the Pittsburg Dispatch newspaper in 1885.

She broke the mould at the time as she was one of the first female journalists to write about a broad range of topics and not just those that were perceived to b be female issues. One of her most renowned pieces of journalism related to her investigation of how patients were treated at an asylum in New York. Her under-cover work eventually led to improvements in patient care.

Nellie gained even more fame when she undertook an adventure based on the fictional book “Around the World in 80 Days” by Jules Verne. Twenty-five year old, Nellie did the trip in 72 days arriving back in New Jersey on 25th
January 1890. She was pleased to have beaten Phileas Fogg’s record (albeit a record noted in a book of fiction) and perhaps more importantly, pleased to have challenged the stereotypical view of women at the time.

The 27th January 2022, marks 100 years since Nellie passed away but her courageous and adventurous spirit remains celebrated in various plays, novels and TV shows

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To Do or Not To Do – Is that the question?

Do you start every day with a To Do list? Is every item that’s not completed on that day carried over to the next day? Do you ever “spring-clean” your To Do list? Is the To Do list approach serving you well?

James Clear in his book “Atomic Habits”, makes the point that when we concentrate on outcomes, i.e. the items we tick off our To Do list, we are not necessarily making lasting changes to our behaviour or habits.

In order to have the outcome of a fit and healthy body, I could have “go to gym” on my To Do list and I might tick this off a few times a week but whilst hopefully I would be gradually getting fitter, would going to the gym always feel like a chore?

James advises that how we see ourselves influences what we do, which in turn influences the outcomes we achieve.

Identity -> Behaviour -> Outcomes

So if I believed myself to be a healthy person, my natural behaviour would be to exercise and make good decisions around food which would lead to the outcome I want.

When we create To Do lists, we are trying to achieve outcomes and whilst that approach can be successful for us, it may not create lasting behaviour changes.

I could put “write a blog” on my to-do list and this is an outcome that I could achieve. But if my goal is to be a blogger, do I put “write a blog” on my to-do list every day?

James Clear’s argument is that if I focus on my identity rather than the outcome, I might have a greater chance of longer term success. So perhaps I should have a To Be list rather than a To Do list.

If I am going to BE a blogger or a writer, this starts to change how I see myself and will influence how I behave leading to the outcomes I wish to achieve.

Maybe January is a good time to replace “To Do” lists with “To Be” lists?

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“The only thing more important than your to-do list is your to-be list. The only thing more important than your to-be list is to be.” Alan Cohen

“Gandalf: I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it’s very difficult to find anyone.

Bilbo: I should think so—in these parts! We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner! I can’t think what anybody sees in them.” J.R.R. Tolkien ‘The Hobbit’