In the month in which we celebrate Valentine’s Day, I thought I would research a little about it’s origins.
And I have taken the unusual step of offering some dating advice!
Sinead 💌
The origin of Valentine’s Day is not very clear. It has been attributed to different historical festivals and events that are connected by romance, fertility and love.
There may have been 3 different saints called St. Valentine. All are believed to have died in pursuit of their causes.
One story relates to 3rd century Rome, where the Emperor at the time believed that, for optimum performance on the battle field, soldiers should be single men. However, legend has it that one priest, Valentine, continued performing marriage ceremonies for couples even when marriage had been outlawed for soldiers.
The pagan festival Lupercalia was celebrated on 15th February and this occasion is associated with fertility, so perhaps this also influenced our modern celebration of Valentine’s Day.
There are many species of birds which mate for life, including owls, swans and eagles. St Valentine’s Day, celebrated on the 14th February, may have become associated with romance because avian mating season tended to happen in mid February.
Despite the vagueness of it’s origin, Valentine’s greetings have been shared since the middle ages with written greetings coming to prominence from around 1400 onwards.
In the modern Western World, Valentine’s Day is the second busiest time of the year for the exchange of cards and gifts, second only to Christmas.
Now for the dating advice…
Part 1 – Who to date
“The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron is a book that I have enjoyed reading a number of times. The book is set out like a 12 week course designed to help us to rediscover ourselves and our creativity. One of the pieces of advice that Julia offers is that we should have a date with ourselves every week. Julia calls this an artist’s date.
Julia advises us to block off the time and do something we enjoy. The date should not be our weekly grocery shop (unless that’s something we particularly enjoy) or completing any other task on our to-do list. The date should be enjoyable and mindful, perhaps going for dinner or coffee by ourselves, going for a walk, painting or listening to music. Anything really, just so long as it is just ourselves investing time and enjoying a date with ourselves ❤.
Part 2 – Who not to date
My second piece of advice is adapted from a recent newsletter shared by author, Oliver Burkeman. Oliver references a book called “The Path of Aliveness”, by Christian Dillo in suggesting that we shouldn’t invite our negative thoughts to stay for tea.
The analogy is used to highlight that fears, worries and doubts are always hanging around. By not pouring them a cup of tea, figuratively speaking, perhaps we won’t dwell on them, or ruminate over them. Feeling unwelcome, hopefully those thoughts will pass by more quickly allowing us to return to a happier mindset.
So , block off some time, and do something fun, with !
“Be healthy and take care of yourself, but be happy with the beautiful things that make you, you.” Beyoncé
“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” Marthe Troly-Curtin
“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” John Lennon
Sinead Huskisson 